


Déjà Vu

by romanoffbarnes



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Dirty Dancing References, F/M, Maria Hill Mentioned - Freeform, Memories, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), rebuilding relationships, wow this was longer than expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:41:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanoffbarnes/pseuds/romanoffbarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha takes up Bucky's offer to go anywhere with him, and he eagerly obliges. (BW #18)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Déjà Vu

Bucky unloads the last of their bags from the jet. He doesn’t know whether or not Nat would take him up on his offer, but he packed two bags just in case. Plus he has another bag filled with passports and money enough to last them a year. 

He got pretty optimistic, wanting Natasha to pick a place for them to go. But after everything that has happened--getting kidnapped and being left to die--she wasn’t in the mood to make any big decisions. So, she let him choose the place. Now that her business with Chaos was finished, she just needed to be far away from it all. She would much rather be alone, but for some reason she couldn’t explain, being with Bucky felt right. It felt safe, almost like home.

She's sitting on the sofa, lost in her thoughts, as her gaze focuses and sees Bucky walk into the living room.

“Well it’s not much, but this should last us for a couple of weeks." 

He doesn’t mention the fact that they’re practically set for an entire year, and he’s glad he doesn’t as he reads Natasha’s face. 

"Thanks Bucky,” she says as she gets up from the sofa. “But I don’t think we should stay this long. Together, I mean." 

Bucky sets the bags to the side and braces himself for the question he’s been dreading to answer. 

"I mean, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, truly. But, Prague? Barcelona? I was practically in the middle of the ocean and every time, it was you, Barnes." 

Bucky feels his pulse increase in his ears as he realizes where she’s going with this. All those sleepless nights and he still couldn’t come up with a simple speech or a complete sentence to tell her. What could he say? Because of me, you almost became the person you most feared? Because of me, you almost lost yourself? Because I love you, I had to lose you? His mind begins to spin as he tries to come up with something. He doesn’t realize he’s taking a step back as she’s coming closer to him. 

She pauses and tries to read his face, but he’s mastered that art a long time and it’s taking everything in him not to crack. 

"Why you, Barnes? Why are you doing this? Why are you being so nice? Why me?" 

Her words hit him like a bullet. Each question hitting him where it hurts, where the one true reason lies. 

"Natasha, I–,” he stutters. 

It’s all he can manage to say before he sees Natasha crack a smile. 

“Bucky, if you have a crush on me, that’s all you had to say,” she says jokingly, turning to unpack the bags, and begins to organize their things. 

He stands there trying to regain his thoughts. After processing what just happened, he realizes that, by some miracle, it was a false alarm. He walks towards her and leans against the wall as he watches her. 

"A crush?!” he finally blurts out incredulously. 

He can hear what appears to be a giggle come out of her. 

She wanted to see what he would say, but as she read his eyes, she knew that this particular topic made him uncomfortable. So she decided that now wasn’t a good time. Instead, she let the question slide and teased him instead, to easen up the atmosphere.

“Hey I’m not saying you’re in love with me! But it’s flattering to know that there’s someone out there who sees me other than a deadly reckless assassin." 

The girl he fell in love with is still in there, and he never stopped loving her. He hopes that someday he’ll be able to tell her those three words again. And if hell freezes over, he’ll probably hear her say them back. But for now, he’ll just make sure she’s okay and that she’s safe. 

"You know there’s more to you than that, Natasha. Don’t do that to yourself." 

She shrugs and is about to turn when he grabs her by the shoulders and faces her. 

"I mean it. There are a lot of people who care about you, not just me." 

He is able to tell her this much because it’s the truth, and he wants her to make sure she knows it. His hands are still resting on her shoulders as the urge to stroke her neck becomes unbearable. 

She gives him a reassuring smile and puts her hands on top of his, "I know, Bucky. It’s just that -- I just need to remember what it was like to be myself." 

He gives her a smile that almost looks sad to her, but she dismisses the thought. She hasn’t seen Bucky smile that often so she can’t tell the difference between his smiles. He lets go of her and decides to walk around their apartment. He checks out the view from their living room window. 

"Paris is a beautiful city and what better place to just, be yourself." 

Their apartment has a perfect view of the Eiffel tower, except for the few gray clouds lingering in the sky. Natasha joins him in the living room. She found a toothbrush in one of their bags and decided to brush her teeth because why the hell not. 

"Ya especiah-lly with those grah clowds in tha sky." 

He looks at her and sees her hair has been raised to a bun and sees a bit of toothpaste rolling down her chin. 

"Yeah. Beautiful," he says to himself.

He imprints this moment in his mind. He never thought he’d get this close to her again, yet here they are, living a domestic lifestyle. Maria knows where they are for security reasons and hasn’t disclosed their location to anyone else. Bucky can already hear Maria scoff at the choice of city he picked. "Cheesy. Typical Barnes.” He knows it’s cheesy, but Natasha loves it here. He just wants her to be somewhere where she feels comfortable, where she could be free.

Bucky came prepared with a raincoat and umbrella, but Natasha could care less about those things. She’s having so much fun dancing in the rain, laughing and splashing. He’s glad she’s enjoying herself, but at the same time, his heart aches at the déjà vu he’s having. The last time he saw her this happy in Paris, she was with him, in his arms. The taste was so fresh in his mind, on his lips. 

He looks away and takes a seat on a bench nearby. It’s soaking wet but he doesn’t care at this point. Natasha sees him sitting by himself and tries to get him to dance with her. 

“But there’s no music!” He finally exclaims as she successfully drags him to the center of the park. 

“Did you really bring me to Paris just so you could sulk in the rain and sit on a wet bench? C'mon Bucky listen to the rain! It’s music to my ears!" 

He can’t refuse her any longer and begins to twirl her. 

She follows his lead and he rolls her out and brings her in, up to his chest. She’s smiling at the fact that she won, and then, their eyes lock. 

Having her this close to him, feeling her breathe this close, it’s like she’s breathing life into him. He rolls her out once more, twirls her and ends it with a dip as he slowly brings her up. 

"Do you think we should do that one jump?” she says as her eyes light up at the idea. 

But before he can answer, she’s already getting into position. He can’t help but smile and laugh at what everyone is about to witness. He gets ready and just like that, she’s running towards him. He catches and lifts her up with such a precision that also catches Natasha’s attention, just for a second. Of course, he’s lifted Natasha plenty of times before, so carrying her is second nature to him. The crowd visiting the Eiffel tower begins to gather around them and they begin to clap and whistle as Bucky and Natasha reenact the famous dance sequence between Johnny and Baby from Dirty Dancing--one of Natasha’s favorite movies and one that Bucky has seen countless of times because of her. He knows all the steps to the routine and knows every word to the song. So when she leaps into his arms, he automatically starts singing the song to himself. The crowd doesn’t leave and they knew they had to do the entire dance. Bucky leads Natasha through it all and she couldn’t believe it. He twirls and pulls her in and holds her just for the right amount of time and knows each cue. When the dance is over they bow, and the crowd rewards them with a thunderous applause. 

The rain has let up a bit, and before they know it, it’s just Bucky and Natasha left. He isn’t sure if he’s even allowed to do this but, he kisses her hand. She stares at him for awhile, her gaze gradually softening. 

“I honestly don’t know what I’m more shocked about right now. You kissing my hand or you knowing all the steps to that dance routine!" 

Bucky chuckles and put his hands in his pockets. He’s about to reply with something witty, but he reminds himself that it would give away a bit of their past. He brushes it off instead. 

"It’s one of my favorite movies. Plus, who doesn’t know all the moves to that dance? It’s iconic. Ask anyone!" Natasha smirks as they resume walking. 

"Okay then, what about the kiss?" 

Bucky really doesn’t know how to explain that so he brushes it off again. 

"Part of the routine?” He jokingly says.

She lands a soft punch on his shoulder. “Idiot." 

His face softens as she smiles and slips her arm into his, huddling close to him, the wind picking up. He isn’t sure if Natasha would ever recover her memories of their past, but at least they’re making news ones. He would make sure no one takes those away from her. 

Not again.

**Author's Note:**

> So I was left with this big "What If" when Natasha passed on Bucky's offer to go anywhere with him and then this happened.  
> I loved this piece so much I just had to share it!  
> It's my first time writing and publishing something this long so I hope you guys enjoyed it!!!  
> Big shoutout to [Aimee](http://archiveofourown.org/users/aimfully) who was my beta and is just plain awesome
> 
> Anyway depending on how this goes I'll decide whether or not to publish and write more stuff.  
> Idk yet. We'll see.  
> Oh and it's a fact that Bucky loves Dirty Dancing as much as Nat does, if not more.  
> :)


End file.
